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...and there is no antonym for antonym (or a synonym for antonym, or an antonym for synonym)

 

 

Now wait a minute... Wouldn't the antonym for antonym be synonym? And the antonym for synonym be antonym?

 

:headscratch:

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Something I've always wondered (simple mind here)....

 

When they say something is "New and Improved" how can that be? If it's new then it hasn't been improved yet and if it's improved then it can't be new.

 

Chip in SC

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Since we all seem to be pulling out useless tidbits of information...

 

What's the longest word you can spell using only the top row of letters on your keyboard (i.e. Q,W,E,R...)?

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Since we all seem to be pulling out useless tidbits of information...

 

What's the longest word you can spell using only the top row of letters on your keyboard (i.e. Q,W,E,R...)?

 

 

typewriter?

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Now wait a minute... Wouldn't the antonym for antonym be synonym? And the antonym for synonym be antonym?

 

:headscratch:

 

 

Steel Steeds, you have a ken eye and mind! I believe you are correct! I guess my karma ran over my dogma ;-) so to speak :wacko:

 

I will update that post with a pointer to your post...

.

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OK since we're moving in the whole language direction, we had better get Dirty Ernie involved.

 

Dirty Ernie was in the 4th grade, and his teacher was asking students to list words starting with the first letter of the alphabet. When "A" was announced Dirty Ernie immediately raised his hand. Of course the teacher knew exactly what word he would say, so she selected another student. Dirty Ernie continued to raise his hand with great excitement with every letter of the alphabet the teacher announced. However, she would not call on him. Finally, the teacher gets to the letter "W". She cannot think of a dirty word Ernie could possibly use which starts with "W". She calls on Ernie and he replies with much pride "woom". The teacher responds, "Oh like where the baby is inside the mother." Ernie responds, "No, like when two elephants are f^*&ing. WOOM! WOOM! WOOM!" :happy feet: :happy feet: :happy feet: Is that a synonym?

Edited by gchaser1

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OK since we're moving in the whole language direction, we had better get Dirty Ernie involved.

 

Dirty Ernie was in the 4th grade, and his teacher was asking students to list words starting with the first letter of the alphabet. When "A" was announced Dirty Ernie immediately raised his hand. Of course the teacher knew exactly what word he would say, so she selected another student. Dirty Ernie continued to raise his hand with great excitement with every letter of the alphabet the teacher announced. However, she would not call on him. Finally, the teacher gets to the letter "W". She cannot think of a dirty word Ernie could possibly use which starts with "W". She calls on Ernie and he replies with much pride "woom". The teacher responds, "Oh like where the baby is inside the mother." Ernie responds, "No, like when two elephants are f^*&ing. WOOM! WOOM! WOOM!" :happy feet: :happy feet: :happy feet: Is that a synonym?

 

 

good one ;-)

 

...actually it's a homonym (sounds like it but dif meaning, like their, there and they're)...

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good one ;-)

 

...actually it's a homonym (sounds like it but dif meaning, like their, there and they're)...

 

I see what you mean. I was thinking of F*&K and WOOM. Also, WOOM, BANG, SNAP etc. are words which mimic the actual sound. What type of word are they?

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For the language police around here, spot the joke....post-142-1150478611_thumb.jpg

 

 

Well, like, the last "like," should be, like, in quotes, I, like, think, yes?

 

(Did you check her out? Does she look 20? Must be the water in Santa Barbara or all the extra "likes.")

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I see what you mean. I was thinking of F*&K and WOOM. Also, WOOM, BANG, SNAP etc. are words which mimic the actual sound. What type of word are they?

 

 

Ah.. I see what you mean... and there is a word for them... just can't recall (or find) it...

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Well, like, the last "like," should be, like, in quotes, I, like, think, yes?

 

Not what I noticed. Anyone?

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Well, like, the last "like," should be, like, in quotes, I, like, think, yes?

 

(Did you check her out? Does she look 20? Must be the water in Santa Barbara or all the extra "likes.")

 

 

What I noticed right off is the "Acadamy of Linguistic Awarness."

Painful spelling....

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What I noticed right off is the "Acadamy of Linguistic Awarness."

Painful spelling....

 

 

Oh, yeah, misspelled Academy and Awareness... :doh:

.

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Saw this somewhere and thought it might be applicable.

 

Capitalization and punctuation are the difference between "Helping your uncle jack off a horse" and "Helping your uncle, Jack, off a horse."

Edited by awatters

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So Bubba and Brutus have been working in the mine for 15 years now and they keep seeing short-timers advancing to jobs "up top," so, one day Bubba tells Brutus he's going up to see the boss and find out why they've been passed up for so long.

 

Bubba knocks and, appologizing for the walk-in, askes Mr Jones his burning question. So Mr Jones tells Bubba "It's all about intelligence -- you have to have intelligence to advance."

 

Bubba's a little embarassed because he's not sure exactly what Mr Jones means so he politely asks and Mr Jones holds his hand up in front of the wall and tells Bubb "Punch my hand!" Bubba, being a respectful person says "but, Mr Jones, if I punch you hand I'll hurt you!" "That's ok, Bubba, punch my hand!"

 

And just a Bubba punches, Mr Jones pulls his hand down and Bubba plows his knuckles into the wall. Mr Jones tells him "see, what I did shows intelligence." Bubba leaves in pain and sees Brutus coming out of the mine. Brutus asks what Mr Jones had to say. Bubba says "I'll show ya, Brutus, it's about intelligence."

 

Bubba holds his hand in front of his face and says "Brutus, punch my hand!"

.

Edited by 68fastback

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Since we're from all over N.A. - and beyond (I sound like Buzz Lightyear) - I thought it might be fun to talk about regional slang expressions.

 

I'm from CT - but moved down to NC and married a real southern girl.

 

Our language differences never cease to be a topic of discussion!

 

Some of the local expressions are:

 

Down here, one doesn't "turn off" a light - they "cut it off." (sounds painful)

 

Bar-b-que, where I'm from means a cookout - down here it's something you eat (sliced or chopped pork)

 

Pig Pickin's are popular - people "smoke" a whole pig and they everyone walks by the cooker and "picks" some.

 

At our first "cookout" together, Christine asked me if she could "fix" me a plate. I told her I didn't break any!

 

Men down here call their fathers "daddy" regardless of how old they are. Just ask Kyle Petty!

 

Where I'm from, we "put things away." Down here, they "put things up." (??)

 

Where I'm from, you say to someone you meet, "Hey, how you doin'?" Down here it's "Whatcha know good?" (again - ???)

 

The dilalect differences also cause us much laughter. For example, Christine takes a one syllable word and makes it into two. She can't say "pill" - she says "peele" Hill is "heel"!

 

Lots of fun. I have much work to do - but somone must. :shift:

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Since we're from all over N.A. - and beyond (I sound like Buzz Lightyear) - I thought it might be fun to talk about regional slang expressions.

 

 

 

Friends down in Raleigh tell me there's a colloquialism shift occurring ;-) so I thought I'd check...

 

The old southern standard y'all has been [mis]used by so many northerners who moved south and use it in the singular, that a new derivative for the plural has emerged: all y'all.

 

e.g. Ruf, y'all have a good evening.. and I'll be back later to chat with all y'all ;-)

.

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OK. I wasn't sure if this was an appropriate joke, but I figured I'd try it out.

 

The Little Rascals are in spelling class. Their teacher, Miss Crabtree, says, "OK, class. Let's go over your homework assignment. Who can spell the word dictate?"

 

Spanky raises his hand, stands up, and says, "D-I-C-T-A-T, dictate."

 

Miss Crabtree says, "Very close, Spanky. Would anyone else like to try?"

 

Buckwheat stands up and says, "D-I-C-T-A-I-T, dictate."

 

Miss Crabtree says, "Another good try. Anyone else?"

 

Alfalfa stands up and says, "D-I-C-T-A-T-E, dictate."

 

Miss Crabtree says, "Very good, Alfalfa. That was correct." Alfalfa looks at his girl, Darla, and smiles sheepishly. She bats her eyelashes back at him.

 

Miss Crabtree continues, "Now, can anyone use that word in a sentence."

 

Buckwheat's hand shoots up into the air immediately. Miss Crabtree asks Buckwheat to stand. Buckwheat looks directly at Alfalfa and says, "Hey Darla, how'd my dictate last night?"

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A Good 'un!

 

Oh-Tay!

 

I am Buckwheat - Damnit!

 

Down here, the regular folks say "y'all." The snobs say "you all." :shift: (and emphasize the second word)

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A chicken and a horse live on a farm, and are good friends. They have been

friends for many years, and enjoy each other's company. One day, the

horse wanders off to a far edge of the farm, and gets stuck in a mud bog. The chicken, wanting to help his friend, goes to the farmer's house, but the farmer is gone. The chicken searches frantically for a solution while the horse continues to sink. Finally, the chicken sees the farmer's Harley Davidson in the garage, grabs some rope, drives the Harley across the farm, ties the rope it to the horse, and pulls him free. The horse was very happy, and thanked the chicken profusely.

 

About a week later, the chicken was wandering in the same area of the

farm, and gets stuck in the same bog. The horse heard the chicken's screams, and immediately rushed to his aid. Realizing that he was large enough to straddle the small bog, he simply stretched over, and then informed the chicken to grab onto his dangly thing, and the horse would pull him free. The chicken did as instructed and was spared his life. The moral of the story is.....you don't need to be hung like a horse to ride a Harley, but it does help you pick up chicks. :hysterical: :happy feet:

 

If you don't laugh at this one, there's something wrong with you. :rant:

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OK. I wasn't sure if this was an appropriate joke, but I figured I'd try it out.

 

The Little Rascals are in spelling class. Their teacher, Miss Crabtree, says, "OK, class. Let's go over your homework assignment. Who can spell the word dictate?"

 

Spanky raises his hand, stands up, and says, "D-I-C-T-A-T, dictate."

 

Miss Crabtree says, "Very close, Spanky. Would anyone else like to try?"

 

Buckwheat stands up and says, "D-I-C-T-A-I-T, dictate."

 

Miss Crabtree says, "Another good try. Anyone else?"

 

Alfalfa stands up and says, "D-I-C-T-A-T-E, dictate."

 

Miss Crabtree says, "Very good, Alfalfa. That was correct." Alfalfa looks at his girl, Darla, and smiles sheepishly. She bats her eyelashes back at him.

 

Miss Crabtree continues, "Now, can anyone use that word in a sentence."

 

Buckwheat's hand shoots up into the air immediately. Miss Crabtree asks Buckwheat to stand. Buckwheat looks directly at Alfalfa and says, "Hey Darla, how'd my dictate last night?"

 

 

 

ok, Dave... that one put me on de flow :hysterical::hysterical2: :P

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:banghead: "I am Buckwheat, Damnit!" :banghead:

 

I had just finished a "mow" and was soaked with sweat!

 

"I am Gumby, Damn it!"

 

"Gonna get in the hot tub/gonna get it wet/gonna get in the hot tub/break out in a cold sweat!"

 

Hit me Band!

 

I Feel Good! :rockon:

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linkey no workey!

 

Old Guy - I've got a new poll posted - check it out! :cheerleader:

 

 

Hmmm.... works for me. Anyone else having trouble? Try Right click then save as a file.

 

Edit: Already saw the poll and voted.

Edited by old guy

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A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table.

 

He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

 

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man.

 

He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. Oh my, I am so sorry, " the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you, " she says.

 

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks.

 

They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

 

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.

 

They had a wonderful, wonderful time. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings.

 

The guy is amazed! ! Everything had been SO incredible! !! !

 

"You know, " he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice! to every guy you meet? " "No, "

she replies. . . . . . . "

 

Are you ready????

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are you sure????

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ruff - I can hear you groaning already....

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here we go......

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please accept my apology in advance.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You just happened to catch my eye."

Edited by old guy

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